Some things were meant to be
by Brigid
Summary: A first kiss at the voyager reunion


Title: Some things were meant to be...

Author:Brigid

Email:brigidandmike@juno.com

Rating:[PG] 

Synopsis:A First Kiss J/C 

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters. I thank them for 

letting me play with them. Thanks to LA and Ann for 

the beta

Date:July 2002

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat on the beach and looked out over the Pacific Ocean. It was the night of the Voyager reunion. Two years ago they had arrived on earth with a flourish, Tom dancing the ship over the Golden Gate Bridge. They had been greeted with open arms and endless hearings. The gentle breeze ruffled her hair as she mused on the different directions their lives had taken. Lost in the moment she allowed her tears to flow. 

Kathryn desperately missed her life on Voyager, her family. She had a new command but nothing would ever be the same. Her greatest fear had been that of becoming the lonely admiral who had risked everything to change the future, their future. When Starfleet offered her a promotion and a desk at Starfleet Headquarters she had turned them down, opting instead for a new command on a science vessel. Captain Janeway thought her place was among the stars but the loneliness Kathryn felt grew deeper with each passing day. 

She looked at her current Ops officer and longed to see a green Starfleet Ensign who befriended outcasts. She would watch her pilot and sigh in frustration - he was so cautious, no sense of adventure. They were good people who had earned their positions fair and square but they weren't family ... never would be. They weren't faced with life-threatening situations day in and day out. They had never sacrificed themselves so that another family member wouldn't have to suffer. They'd never eaten leola root with a smile because it was all they had and Neelix cooked it with such love. 

And her XO; she would look at the spit and polish Commander who had ridden a desk throughout the Dominion War and long for the security of someone who knew the ropes and could be counted on to be at her side no matter what situation presented itself. The tears flowed more freely as she thought of patient brown eyes, brown eyes that stared now at bright blue. 

As she mused, Kathryn realized that Seven had not attended this reunion. Since she had avoided Chakotay at every opportunity, she didn't know why. Her time had been spent with Tom and B'Elanna, admiring Miral and rejoicing in the news of their son, due in six months. Harry Kim and Celes Tal had announced their engagement. The doctor was full of himself after his appointment to Starfleet Medical and Icheb was three quarters of the way through Starfleet Academy in just two years. Naomi was turning into a young lady and seemed to be very comfortable with her father now as well as with her new baby brother, Joe. 

After a while the excitement had made Kathryn long again for the solitude of the Delta Quadrant, and she began to look for a means of escape. An open door leading to a moonlit sandy beach provided that means and now she sat, hugging her knees, lost in her own loneliness in the midst of the family she missed so terribly. 

She felt his presence long before he settled in the sand next to her. Her first thought was to wipe away the tears but she knew that would draw attention to them. She hoped the darkness would hide them, forgetting how little she could hide from Chakotay.

"Care for a Gummi Bear?" he asked, holding out the colorful package. 

With a wry glance Kathryn answered, "What are you doing with Gummi Bears?"

"I keep them on hand for Miral. She likes them..." his voice trailed off as he realized that she really wasn't looking for an answer to her question and she wasn't looking at him. 

"Kathryn," he asked as he touched her shoulder, "what's wrong?"

Her answer was a silent shrug but Chakotay knew her too well. His touch hadn't been rebuffed so he was emboldened to move his hand to her face, softly lifting away the auburn tresses so he could see the paths her tears were wearing. "Tell me," he asked gently. 

"It's nothing - silly really. I was just missing Voyager and my - our family. They've all grown up and moved on with their lives and I miss them. I had gotten used to seeing them every day, knowing every grade on every test that Naomi or Icheb took. I miss getting the report on the climate in engineering every morning and watching Tom handle Voyager with such joy."

Clearing her throat and swiping at the tears she continued, "It's nice to see Harry and Tal so happy isn't it? And did B'Elanna tell you she and Tom are expecting?"

Chakotay looked at her sagely and answered, "Yes, B'Elanna told me their news and I'm happy for Harry and Tal. Now are you going to tell me what's really bothering you?"

For some reason that Kathryn couldn't begin to explain, she told him the truth. In a whisper-soft voice she said, "I miss my best friend."

Her best friend nodded. Then he reached for her hand and ordered, "Tell me about this mission you just returned from." 

She told him of Romulans and green recruits, of diplomatic mishaps and stodgy admirals and soon they were both laughing. Just like old times. Almost.

After a few minutes of shared silence that was becoming awkward, Kathryn forced herself to rescue her hand from his and ask, "How's Seven?"

The question didn't seem to surprise her companion; in fact she could have sworn she saw a flash of dimple as he answered. "I don't know, I haven't seen her. The congestion and noise on earth were too much for her. She went to live on Vulcan with Tuvok."

Kathryn voice held curiosity, nothing more. "I knew she'd gone to see him. I didn't know she was still there." 

"I take it you haven't stopped there in your travels."

"No, it was too far out of the way and I guess I didn't make the effort."

There was a short silence before curiosity got the better of her, "What happened between you two?"

Chakotay pulled his ear in the gesture she loved. "You might just say that once the potential sperm donors multiplied she was no longer interested." 

Startled Kathryn asked, "What do you mean?"

"Seven wanted to experience sex and procreation and she had decided that I was the ideal choice on the ship. She wasn't Starfleet so it didn't matter that I was the XO. I didn't have any personal commitments and she decided that I was intelligent enough to be worth pursuing. She was quite insistent and I was very flattered. I behaved like a lovesick teenager. I don't have any excuse, it just happened and it was stupid." 

"I'm sorry," Kathryn answered, "you must have been hurt when she told you."

"No, I was quite relieved. I had already figured out that it was wrong for me take advantage of her that way and I was actually grateful when she dumped me." 

"I hope she let you down more gently than that."

Chakotay pretended to be in serious thought, "Let's see, 'Commander, I have learned over the last few weeks that I am not ready for a committed relationship. I need to learn more about a variety of mating practices and I think learning them with practical experience instead of through holographic simulation would be beneficial.' In other words she'd like to 'play the field.'"

"Then why is she on Vulcan?"

"She decided that Vulcan males are far superior in intellect and far less emotional than human males." 

Kathryn answered with a giggle, "I'm sorry, that must have hurt."

"No," he smiled, "it's true. She will be happier there and Tuvok seemed pleased that she chose to come to him for guidance." 

Another awkward silence ensued and was again broken by Kathryn. Chakotay seemed to have all the patience in the world tonight. "I... I guess, I mean... I haven't really seen you or thought to ask B'Elanna, ...what are you doing now?" Kathryn had actually avoided the subject with B'Elanna but now she felt an awkward curiosity. Surely B'Elanna would have said something if he was involved with anyone else... or had joined a monastery. 

"I'm teaching anthropology and paleontology at a school for Native Americans in Arizona. It's more of a traditional school than the academy but the kids are great. They're interested in maintaining the old ways while learning about the new."

Kathryn nodded and they listened to the waves getting closer as the tide slowly came in. She barely heard his soft admission, "I have missed my best friend too." He paused before adding, "You left so quickly after the debriefing, I never even got a chance to say good bye." 

"I guess I just assumed you would be busy, making a life for yourself." 

"And you left so you wouldn't be in the way."

"Something like that."

Another pause ensued while Chakotay summoned the courage to say, "I had a talk with Tom the night we docked at McKinley Station. I asked him how he'd known he was in love with B'Elanna. His answer was very enlightening. He told me she was the first thing he thought of every morning and the last thing every night and standing by her side was the greatest pleasure in his life. When those are the parameters, Kathryn, I'm in love with you and have been for the last nine years or so."

Kathryn was silent as the water level continued to creep up the sandy beach. 

Chakotay finally spoke again. "We'd better move to higher ground. The tide is coming in."

With a slight nod Kathryn stood offering a hand to Chakotay. They turned to walk back to the reunion and Chakotay noticed the sand she still wore. "Here, let me brush some of this off; you're covered with it." He touched her arm to stop her and began to brush the sand off her bottom. She stiffened and turned to face him. Her eyes were wide with uncertainty. Chakotay knew he'd never have another chance like this and bent to kiss her gently. She didn't recoil so he kissed her again. Her arm began to slowly creep around his neck as she urged him closer. The kiss was gentle and sweet and satisfying and salty. Chakotay pulled away to verify his suspicions, Kathryn was crying again. 

"What is it?" he asked softly as he wiped the tears from her face. 

"I'm so sorry - so very, very sorry."

"Why? What's happened?"

"I kept you at arms length for seven years, never giving our love a chance-"

"You had a ship to run."

"I could never have run it without you."

"You don't owe me anything. I did it for very selfish reasons." Cupping her face in his hands he locked her gaze to his. "It meant I could be at your side every day." 

"I love you. I think I always have."

He didn't reply, only bent to kiss her again, this time with passion and hunger, anxious to release some of the frustration and tension that had built over the evening and over the last decade of his life. Kathryn responded in kind, only breaking away when she felt the sand under her feet beginning its rush out with the tide. 

"We're going to get soaked if we don't head a little further inland," she whispered.

"I've always said I would follow you anywhere. Lead on."

They returned to the reunion, slipping in unnoticed, or so they thought. The band had just finished one song but Tom Paris was on the stage. He signaled for another to begin immediately, one he was planning on singing. When Chakotay heard the melody he smiled and immediately drew Kathryn into his arms. 

"Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you...

Tom sang softly as the reunited command team swayed gently to the music, prepared to let it go on forever. 

"Like the river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, 

some things are meant to be..."

End


End file.
